Feed from the Fear

"What scares you the most?"

My number one fear used to be, being alone. Never finding anyone share my life with. Dying without sharing that bond. That was back in high school when I thought being in a relationship was the most important thing, just because all my friends were in long-term relationships. Since then I've come to terms with how my life is. It's not that scary to me anymore.

So what scares me the most? Letting everyone down. Even myself. I'm not sure if it would be harder to let everyone else down, or myself. I'm sure I can't do one without doing the other. I get so much support from friends and family. They have so much faith in me, that if in the end, I can't follow through, I would feel horrible. Not only for myself, but for them too. Sorry you wasted all that time believing that I was going to make something of myself.

When I think about myself, and where I want to go, and what's out there for me, I get this feeling in my gut, this feeling that there's something great waiting to happen to me. I can feel that someday I'll be so much more than what I am now. I feel that the past year, and the few to come are the stepping stones to a fantastic journey that I can't even comprehend. And as powerful, and wonderful as that feeling is... what if I'm wrong? Then what? All this time I thought something great was going to happen, and it didn't. Instead of receiving feelings of pride, and joy, it would be pity, and disappointment. It hurts my heart a bit to think of it that way. But if I keep thinking positively, then I can't go wrong!... right? I am so sure about this feeling, and I'd hate to be proven wrong.

There was a time where I was doubting myself, and a friend gave me a piece of paper that he always had with him. He said it was for me.

You have the ability to
attain whatever you seek,
Within you is every potential
you can imagine.
Always aim higher than you
believe you can reach.
So often, you'll discover
that when your talents
are set free by your imagination,
you can achieve any goal.

If people offer their help or
wisdom as you go through life,
accept it gracefully.
You can learn much from those
who have gone before you.
But never be afraid or hesitant
to step off the accepted path and
head off in your own direction,
if your heart tells you that it's
the right way for you.

Always believe that you will
ultimately succeed at whatever you do,
and never forget the value of persistence
discipline and determination.
You are meant to be whatever
you dream of being.