Too Close to Home

When a person keeps a wild animal as a pet, they eventually have to let the animal go. Monkeys. Sure, it would be super cool if you had a pet Monkey, but that monkey will become an adult. It's natural instincts will kick in. You can't keep it domesticated. The monkey will become violent and lash out at you. It has nothing to do with you. You've loved the monkey, took good care of the monkey. You've done all you can. Now it's time to let the monkey go. Set the monkey FREE!



I'm the monkey. Gosh, I do love my metaphors! I am so tired of living at home, yet I can't do anything about it now. I have no money. That makes it hard. It's worse because I know what it's like to live in your own place. I miss my apartment in Orlando. Coming and going as I please. No one asks me questions. Walk around scantily clad. I could have who ever I wanted over, whenever I wanted. It was great! That was 3 years ago. And I can't just pack up and move to middle of nowhere USA where rent is super affordable. I've established the beginning of a life here. My job, my stand up, my friends. This is where my life is. It's just so expensive and I don't make enough money. The job I have now, sure it isn't Great Pay, but the benefit of flying for free-That's Amazing! It's hard. I don't like this. Can't Obama become president and make everything affordable?! Isn't it supposed to work like that? I feel bad that my family is the target of my short temper. I want to be treated like an adult, but since I live at home, they don't see me as an adult. I shouldn't have to say where I'm going. I'm leaving the house-later! I don't feel the need to tell every detail of my day. Only if something important happens will I share.

My sister and I are total opposites. She tells my mom EVERYTHING. I give her information on a need to know basis. She's always happy, cheerful, and positive. I'm bitter, jaded, and have learned about disappointment. She can't take sarcasm and gets offended way too easily. I dish out the sarcasm. She has her friends over all the time. I rarely got to have friends over, and when I did, my mom would say I could have two over. I guess I need a professional to decide why I feel so tense around my sister. Is it simply because she's 16, and I can't stand teenagers as a whole; or is it because her and her friends remind me of the kids I went to high school with- the kids that thought they were better than me- and use this as a chance to get back at them?
I don't hate my sister; please don't get that impression. She's a good kid. She's 16 and isn't partying, or getting knocked up. I guess I just don't understand her. We have different ways of thinking. A great example; listen to comedian Kathleen Madigan's CD "In Other Words." She talks about her and her sister being opposites- it's pretty much the way we are.

Wow, you couldn't have guessed that this post went from Monkeys to my desperation to move out, to the relationship between my sister and myself. But it did.